Last night I chose to massively clean my closet, including changing out seasonal clothing, rather than do a few key things I really needed to do. I knew exactly what I was doing, too: a classic case of procrastination.
What was facing me was challenging, and I knew the project would take a good bit of time, so I let my brain tell me stories…
Like that, I had to get my external environment situated first.
Like things were out of control because I couldn’t find my rain boots and it’s a week of crazy storms here in France!
Like I’m totally unorganized and need to get a grip, even though I have a system for just about everything. Ugh, that negative brain!
It all got pretty grim fast, and it pushed me to focus on cleaning rather than giving me the motivation to face the hard stuff. I was being a bully to myself, and I wish now that I’d pushed back. I know you do this too, because all my clients tell me they struggle with this.
It’s also simply the neuropsychology of how our brain is wired, to:
Seek out the familiar by doing the least amount of effort required
Avoid pain, AKA any kind of change at all
Seek pleasure at all times.
Your Internal (I) Dialogue (D), your I.D., becomes your identity, for good or for bad. Negative self-talk more than any other factor can stop your progress in its tracks, so it’s important to practice being posi—or at least learning to transform negativity into something neutral as a baby step toward being more positive.
Take a few minutes to write the longest list of your best qualities.
They don’t even have to be the best—you can jot down as many good things as you can brainstorm about yourself.
And if you get stuck in any area—let’s use the physical for example—try neutrality as a tiny step toward being posi. For example, if you can’t say you LOVE your legs yet, say something like these are strong legs that carry me all kinds of places in the world.
It may not seem like a big deal, but even that small shift in your thinking can be extremely powerful. We’ll continue with “Lesson 2 in Staying Positive” next week.
