Do you find yourself having to say yes to stuff you really don’t want to do?
A lot of us busyaholics have challenges with the word no. At work, at home, at the grocery store, you name it. As successful, influential women “no” can be one of our most powerful tools.
It’s a gift to you and, really, it’s a gift to others. Letting people know where we stand on things, whether we’re in or out, frees them up in understanding you aren’t a resource for this. It also opens us up to put our energy and focus into our yes’s. To protect our yes’s and the precious priorities they represent to us.
When we say “yes”, when we mean “no,” we actually make ourselves busier.
It’s costly to our time, to our brain space, to our priorities when we do this. Not just with the item we just signed ourselves up to do, but in our own brain we’re now even busier – worrying and thinking about the fake “yes” we just gave out, and how we’re going to get it all done. We may have “simplified” something for the person we gave our yes to, but we’ve sacrificed our most powerful asset – Time.
I’m not saying don’t say yes, don’t help. I’m saying ask yourself, before you answer, do I want to say yes? And do I have time to take this on? If the answer to either one of these is “no,” give the gift of no, to yourself and others. Seriously. You are not helping another person when you say yes to something you really don’t want to do or have time to do. Energetically you are in a place of resentment in having to do the “thing” and that is likely showing up.
This ties back to priorities. When we struggle with saying no, everything becomes a priority by default. We literally are choosing not to control our schedule. In fact, a lot of us feel run by our schedule, when in reality we’re the ones creating the chaos. For more on priorities check out my priorities blog post. Ok back to “no.”
An honest, grounded “no” is powerful.
More success comes when we become skilled at both yes and no. Give yourself the gift of “no.” Give yourself the gift of committing to your answer, no matter what it is. So once you’ve said yay or nay, you can free your mind from ruminating on “should I” or “shouldn’t I.” Don’t underestimate the power of a focused brain. Make no mistake, this gives you serious time back.
