Tiffany Goyer, MA, RYT, merges her vast education and experience as a life Coach, Therapist, Counselor, Practitioner of Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET) and study of Yoga therapy to bring together a wealth of healing modalities to synchronize the body, mind and spirit.
Playing the victim in your life is a quick way to feel miserable, as it creates feelings of helplessness, anger, and fear.
And during this stressful time, who needs even more of *that*? We don’t want to live life feeling defeated! So how can we regain some power and a sense of control? We flip the script!
Flipping the script on victim mentality involves practicing radical vulnerability—the willingness to feel whatever comes up.
When you say goodbyes, you say hello to the new.
As an entrepreneur in the healing profession and a woman looking to balance work, love and self-care. It becomes vitally important to your overall health that you learn how to say goodbye.
It’s especially a good at time as 2018 wraps up to think about how you can become more DELIBERATE, more FOCUSED in the coming year on what is ESSENTIAL to you and allow yourself to say goodbye to the unimportant things that busy you, take up your time, and cause your work and relationships with yourself and others to suffer. That’s what I call radical self-care.
It’s a big question right? What do you want to use your life for?
When it comes to making more time in your life you really must answer this question for yourself.
The reason this is important is that when you know what you want to use your life for, you can live intentionally. What's the point in teaching you how to make more time in your life to make more money, have loving relationships and a lifestyle that rocks if you don’t know what to do with that extra time?
First things first, if you have been secretly worried that you may be incompetent that’s not it. That thought is a brain error! Repeat brain error!
It’s not your fault that you keep starting and stopping or get into full-blown freeze mode when you try new or hard things, it’s your brain’s fault.
Your brain is well-intentioned. Your brain's wired to protect you from danger. It doesn't want you to try new or hard things. It thinks you could die. It's programmed to protect you from being eaten by the next wild animal that comes around. It tries to conserve your energy at every turn in case of an emergency. But last time I looked no wild animal was out to get us anymore. Unless you are vacationing somewhere exotic and get lost from the crowd. This used to be a good thing because it kept our species going and allowed us to survive. But now it doesn’t serve us.
How often do you hear yourself say “I don’t know,” either out loud or in your head? So many of us do right? But it stops us from accessing the wisdom that you have within. When I heard the concept that we all have the answers within us, I felt annoyed 😠. I initially thought, if I had all the answers then my life would be easy. But having the answer doesn’t = easier. But it does = you having a pretty darn good shot at making your dreams a reality. Without the confusion, you can bask in the sunshine of clarity and not the clouds and thunderous storms of angst. It’s so easy to have all the right answers for everyone else right, your best friend, your partner, your family? So why's it so hard to do that same thing for yourself? Because confusion, the kind we’ve been indulging in for a long time, gets you stuck in a labyrinth of "I don’t know’s,” with no end goal in sight.
Don't stop because of self doubt. Ever. It’s a lie. Made up by the oldest part of your brain, the reptilian brain to try and keep you safe. It’s on high alert, but you don’t need to be when it comes to believing in yourself.
Many of my clients are already very very successful people, though they may try and be modest about it if you asked them... but each time they want to grow and evolve they have to deal with self-doubt. Of course, I do too. And a couple of points here...
Our mind is an interesting thing. When we are young our minds are in a completely different brainwave state than when we are adults.
So until about the age of 7 or 8 years old, we download all the things that are our experiences in life and this helps to shape our personality and understand all the stimuli of life that comes our way. If our minds didn’t work like this we would be like infants all of our lives, literally seeing things for the first time ALL the time and as you can imagine we would not be able to function as adults. This does not mean our minds are set in stone because of our previous programming.
But if you are not aware of this phenomenon you might repeat realities from the past or unhealthily blame your parents or your current partners in relationships for “triggering you,” to respond in whatever way you are conditioned to do.
Imagine a life where you don’t worry about things not working out for you in any way imaginable!
Imagine the suffering you would cut out of your life. So much right?
Imagine what could be possible if you believed everything, and I mean everything would work out for you!
This is why I am talking to you today about adopting an abundance mindset because truly it can make the difference between a happy life and a scared one. It's totally possible to make this shift and fairly easy once you get enough practice at it.
Why is self-appreciation so important?
Well, in short do you want to feel irresistible about your life? Do you want to have big dreams, go for them and make them happen, do you want people in your life that truly see and appreciate you?
Ok, my friend this is where we have to start. Self-appreciation is the secret sauce to your delicious joyful life you deserve. It’s completely at your finger-tips.
Like I tell my clients if you are 100% committed to this work, you will make whatever you are committed to happen in your life. And you will get there without burning yourself out and feeling unhappy if you allow yourself some fierce self-appreciation.
So, what is the one thing holding you back from success?
FEAR. The dreaded feeling.
What do you need to solve for fear? COURAGE...
Every day I purposefully do something that scares "the you know what" out of me.
Because I am currently living in the French Riviera, that includes learning French, figuring out how to communicate about getting something delivered to my place, how to find the right light bulbs when all of them have burnt out, how to get my cell phone fixed, how to meet new people every day to grow my community of friends. Just to name a few.
I do something scary every day because I want to develop my COURAGE MUSCLE.
I believe that we all have special gifts to share with the world — that we all have a purpose, OR two, OR three. What are yours? Are you living in alignment with your authentic self, that true self beneath your personality, your persona, your roles and responsibilities in life? Do you have a great sense of meaning and depth in your life, in your relationships, and in your work? Well, you can! I firmly believe this to be true. I empower women to reconnect with their authentic self, so that they can allow that part of themselves to be the compass in guiding them in the direction of their greatest joys, passions and fulfillment.
Your inner good girl could use some vixen.
Would you rather live your life pleasing and being the good girl, always saying yes, when you really mean no? Kinda like Sandy’s character from “Grease.”
It’s actually “Okay not to be Nice all the time.”
If this simultaneously shocks you, but also give you a bit of a thrill, you’re in the right place and could use a little side of vixen.
Goodbye to Sandra Dee.
Was the lesson we learned from the movie Grease? You know the classic story? If not you have to watch it immediately and report back.
It goes something like this, “Good Girl Sandra Dee” has an innocent summer beach romance with Danny. They’re torn apart at summer’s end as she's to return to Sydney. In an odd twist of fate, Sandy ends up staying and randomly shows up at the same high school as Danny. This nice girl’s shocked to learn that Danny’s the school "bad boy," as he had played it cool and “nice,” to win her over that summer.
A Time Snob looks down on most of your obligations.
Lots of the time your obligations are just sentences you are telling yourself in your mind, appearing to be reality, until otherwise put in check. Under further investigation, many of your obligations aren’t even obligations. And even if they are, you are always choosing them, to do them, or not to.
Thinking of your job, spending time with your partner, and paying taxes as an obligation kills all the joy and takes away your potency. You choose these things.
If you've set up an adversarial relationship with time you're always gonna be struggling against it and maybe even forfeit your dreams.
Sadly, most of us go through our lives feeling stressed, anxious, fearful, hurried, rushed, and defeated by our beliefs around time. I know it feels like reality, but it’s just a bad habit. The cool thing about habits is you can break um and replace um with ones that'll help you flourish.
There’s never enough of it
I don’t know where it all goes
It’s always running out
I wish there were more hours in the day
My personal fav...I never have time for a life...
AND... If only I had more time I’d start that dream job, training, coaching program, relationship or family that I’ve wanted, but guess that won't ever happen
Did you know that each day you make about 35,000 decision? No wonder many of you suffer from decision fatigue. And when you are tired and worried you usually opt for the easy and familiar.
But what I know for sure is that indecision and the easy choice are both fear-based, and unlikely getting you that irresistible life you desire.
Just yesterday, one of my clients had an opportunity come her way that she immediately thought, “I’m definitely not ready for this.” It happened to be the opportunity to speak at a women's retreat in Paris. Before even considering that this may be a huge step in the right direction, fear seized her and she shut it down immediately. But I ask her to reconsider with my magic weapon lie detector question.
Most of my clients are looking forward to having a clean slate, a new year. But how do we mentally close out last year so that we can start the new year clear and focused? What to do with this new start?
I have found that reviewing what happened the previous year can be an illuminating exercise in planning for this one. A couple of important points before you get cracking on these questions:
